Nations with Broomsticks
by That.One.Hetalia.Cosplayer
Summary: America, is struck with the disease named boredom. Going to England's House to irritate his favorite Brit, he finds him on the floor, bloodied and sick. Calling an emergency meeting, the world finds that England's supposed "Fake" magic world isn't so fake after all. The Allies, Axis, and a few others enroll themselves into Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Good luck UK!
1. Chapter 1

**Nations with Broomsticks:**

America stared at England's door with and intensity unseen since Mc Donald's decided to drop their super sized fries and shakes. He'd knocked on his favorite Brit's door, hard and fast so England couldn't mistake his knock for another's, and he hadn't heard a peep from the normally short tempered man.

Usually, it would go a little like this. He'd knock on the door and would be almost immediately met with an "_America! Stop that insistent knocking and just get the hell in here! It's a wonder you haven't dented the poor door yet!" _Then, England would let him inside, and they'd have some icky tea-time. England would then rant to himself; America would have a laugh, get bored, and then leave. It was almost a ritual how his visits would work, and this was definitely out of the ordinary.

America knocked once more. "Iggy? Yo man, ya here?"

Silence was his humble companion.

America grumbled, taking out his iPhone 5 from his pocket. He scrolled through his contact list until it landed on the affectionately named _Iggy-Sidekick._ Yes, America had deemed England cool enough to be his sidekick along with what's his face. America swiped the "Call" icon.

He waited a few seconds.

_**Ring! Rin—!**_

America heard England's phone, albeit muffled through the house's wall. A chill of dread ran through him suddenly. England had never before ignored him.

"HEY IGGY! I'M COMING IN, LIKE IT OR NOT!" So with a sizable amount of force, America punched open England's door, the wood bursting off its hinges. America ran inside, feet clomping loudly.

"England! Dude Iggy-man? WHERE ARE YOU?" America checked the Brit's living room, upturning the couch. He ran to the kitchen, even going as far as to look into the refrigerator, quickly shutting it when something pink moved.

"Come on man, your kinda freaking me o—! IGGY!?" America ran to England's side in the dining room, where the man was lying on the floor, a puddle of blood pooling below him.

England groaned as America touched his back, causing the younger blond to flinch away.

"Aww damnit England, what happened? Shit, you're not dying are you?" America freaked out briefly, before turning deathly serious. "Damn England… can you hear me? Shit…"

He moved the man, letting England sit upright. England stirred, whispering hoarsely.

"….h….a….y….v…." England rasped out.

"I don't know what you're saying right now…" America whined. England tried again.

"Harry…and Tom….magic…." England promptly passed out.

America stilled, quickly checked England's pulse, sighing in relief when he found one.

"Shit…shit…SHIT! Who do you call when someone's on the floor bleeding…! France! He'll know!" America reasoned with himself.

America would never know that his single phone call would change two worlds.

* * *

"So that's what happened. France came to Iggy's house and patched him up, and then we all called this emergency world meeting!" America finished.

The crowd of nations looked around at each other disinterestedly, some stepping out the room after his announcement. Only Canada, Italy, Romano, Germany, Prussia, Japan, Russia, Sweden, Finland, Spain, France, Switzerland, and Lichtenstein, Greece, Poland, and Lithuania stayed for further explanation.

"Ve! What happened to England?" Italy chirped.

"Well, I looked into it, and it seems it's his magic community doing this. We all would've heard something happening in England if it had to do with politics." France explained.

"While he was doing that, I looked into 'Harry' and 'Tom'. There are A LOT of Harry and Toms in England!" America jeered.

"Magic community?" Japan mumbled. "I thought you didn't believe in magic, America-san."

"Course I do! Why else do I make Halloween such a big thing in my country? If I have a bomb-tastic party, ghosts leave me alone! I just tell Iggy I don't believe just so I can mess with his dingle berries!"

"D-dingle berries? America, you do know what those are, right?" Canada interrupted.

"Nopeity dopeity! But it sounds cool so that's all that matters!~"

Germany coughed in his hand as the rest of the countries looked on at the three amused. Much really wasn't getting done.

"So, what do the two of you need us for?" Germany said sternly.

The group of countries straightened up, looking at France and America expectantly. The two looked at each other, blinked, and then France gave a grin.

"Sex appeal."

And so Prussia busted out laughing.

* * *

England was having a nice dream. He'd won a war against France and made him his servant. America was mute, a chibi following his heels wherever he went just like the old days. The rest of the world beholded the mightiness of his magic as he made a rainbow for his unicorn Mr. Lovely, and everyone adored him.

'_Oh big brother England! You're so manly and awesome! I wanna grow up to be just like you!" _Child America gushed.

'_Angleterre, you're so strong! Much stronger then I'll ever be, even in a million years!" _France cried.

Britain laughed. He laughed and laughed until his sides started to hurt. Oh, this was the best thing that's ever happened to him since—!

"_Fuck-er!"_

England stopped laughing. Who'd dare call the mighty United Kingdom a fucker?

"_Limey bastard!"_

Those insults sounded awfully familiar.

"_Fuck-er! Fuck-er"_

That was America's…friend, wasn't it?

"_Dude! Tony what'd you do to Iggy? He looks all clean and junk!"_

Clean? When wasn't he clean, he was a gentleman. Gentlemen were never dirty. Chibi America came to his knees to tug at his pants.

"_Fuck-er! Fuck-ing bastard!"_

"_Really? That's so cool, can your alien tech really do that?"_

"_Fuck-ing!"_

America needed to teach that think proper english. The creature probably learned those words watching America's horrible T.V. shows. Chibi America stopped tugging, and then sat in a corner, sad.

"_Tony? Is that safe?"_

Was what safe?

"_Bastard! Limey bastard!"_

"_Ok then! If you're sure, cool beans!"_

No, what was safe? They weren't about to do something stupid, were th—!

**SHIPP! SKIRP! TING!**

And England knew no more.

* * *

I** really need to cage my bunnies and let them starve. :I**

**All these plots in my head are just spewing out of me! My mind can't take it. xD**

**Hope you enjoyed! This is more Hetalia centric, because I know more about Hetalia… (Since I haven't read a Harry Potter book since the last one came out…) The chapters are pretty short, so if you're into that, good for you! I'll try to fix it in the future. Also, parings are pretty much decided, but they could be subject to change… huh.**

**So vote on my poll for another story!**

**AndreadtheonesthatI'vealreadyposted *INTENSE COUGH***

**:)**

**-Cecile A.K.A . **


	2. Chapter 2

Spain hummed to himself as he walked inside of England's many guest rooms. He was sharing it with his precious Romano, and was finishing up the task of packing what he thought was needed. Romano was in the room as well, overturning various pieces of furniture while cursing loudly.

"Damn it to fucking hell! Tomato-bastard, have you seen that stupid cat? I'm not about to lose that thing right after I bought it!" Romano cursed.

Spain continued to hum, taking a tomato out of his pocket and offering it to Romano. "No I haven't! But you shouldn't worry so much, _el pequeño gato_ will show up eventually!"

"Well eventually better happen in the next hour! I won't let some mutt cat die of hunger while we go on this damn trip because we couldn't find it!" Romano raged, though took the tomato anyway.

* * *

"Dude! You ready yet?"

"Umm, no… But you're not ready either?"

"Course not! Wouldn't want you to feel weaker than me if I finished first, right?"

"Right…"

Canada attempted to tune out his twin and continue packing as America rambled on.

"Like I was saying, when Tony used his awesome advanced tech to help out Iggy, he was harnessing electricity! It was so cool, like a real life Static Shock! Well, without those electric glove thingies, but who cares, it was cool!"

"Oh, how did England take it?" Canada felt a bit worried as America grinned.

"Well, he kinda spasmed a little, arms flailing and junk, then just went limp! He kinda looked like one of those wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man things! You know, like at car lots? If Japan were there, I'd get him to take him a picture! It was super funny!"

Canada succeeded in tuning out America, as the country started to rave about how his diet soda diet was finally working.

* * *

"Hey hey! Germany, Germany!"

"Vhat is it Italy?"

"Hmm… Nothing!" Italy crowed, drawing a happy face on his index finger with a marker and proceeding to wiggle it in front of Germany's face.

Germany said nothing, even as Italy took his silence as some kind of affirmation. Italy hopped out of the bed the two shared the night before, and took the blonde's hand to draw a face on his index finger as well.

Italy smiled at his work, while Germany's eyebrow twitched at the idiocy of it all. Italy then took both their hands to squish both happy faced fingers together.

"Ve! Happy best friends finger buddies!"

Germany couldn't help but smack Italy upside the head.

* * *

"Like, this is gonna be the bestest thing since like, ever!"

"Uh, huh…"

"Where's Larry…?"

"Don't be like that Liet! Haven't you like, ever bought something that you thought looked fabulous on you then think when you get home, OMG, this color totally clashes with the shoes I'm wearing!"

"Not really…"

"Laaaaarrrrryyyyyyy!"

"What? You totally have a carefree life huh! Like, I'd give anything to be you, except my pony of course!"

"I'm not sure that I can be described as 'carefree'…"

"I hope Larry is with Japan…"

"Like of course you are! Greece, don't you think Liet is like totally carefree and cute?"

"When did cuteness come into play?!"

"Not as carefree or cute as Larry…"

"Right then…"

* * *

"What do I absorutely need for this trip?"

Japan paced his room as he looked upon piles and piles of manga, doujinshi, anime, and anime related items. He also looked at his technology pile that ranged from robotic puppies to a Hatsune Miku leek twirling figurine.

Japan was for one in his life, completely stumped.

Mr. England wouldn't mind if he just took all of it, would he?

Japan thought not!

* * *

"Now Lichtenstein, you must always keep at least a two feet distance from any males while we're on this trip, alright?"

"Yes big brother!"

"And if they come with within that radius…?"

"Then I kick them where it hurts!"

"Yes!"

Switzerland affectionately looked upon his little sister, patting her head. Lichtenstein looked elated with her big brother's praise. Prussia, who was walking down the hallway outside their room, couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

"Keseseses!"

* * *

"We will all have a good time together, da?"

"I-I guess we will, Mr. Russia?"

"Hn."

One would hardly think the shaking nation was the country who'd sustained so long in the Winter War. Sweden was next to him trying to be supportive, but only succeeding in effectively sandwiching Finland in-between the two nations. Finland was a little freaked out.

"Haha… Is there anything you guys are looking forward to?" Finland tried small talk. Small talk was good, right?

"I'm looking forward to all the new faces we will be seeing, aren't you?" Russia said with a smile. Finland just wanted to curl up on the floor and cry.

"Ja." Sweden answered.

Finland shuddered. Sweden's one syllable answers were not helping anyone.

* * *

England was about ready to kick a frog in the face. The Frenchman wouldn't leave him alone for a second, constantly in his personal space, getting in the way of his packing, and just overall being a nuisance.

England had actually already kicked France, and the man had cried out that he was being 'so heartless!', then scurried off for a few minutes, coming back and resuming being his irritating self. If England was being honest with himself, he was surprised how quickly France had recovered, but he'd never tell the obnoxious nation that.

The Brit was stopped from his musings when he looked upon his packed suitcase. He was finally finished, and with a quick glance to France's own gaudy designer suitcase, saw that he was packed as well. It wasn't an impossible thought that the others were finished too.

England called all the nations together; ignoring France's prodding at his back. It took a few moments until the countries were all in front of the entrance to England's door, arguing, laughing, cowering, and just being overall themselves.

"All right now. I know we've went and gotten our supplies yesterday, but we're miss—!"

"Iggy! Hey Iggy!" America interrupted the irritated Brit. "Why'd we get all those things anyway? I don't think I'd ever use a dragon's liver like, ever."

"Well America, _if you'd just let me finish—_!"

"Yeah, what the unfab guy said! I'd like, never wear these icky clothes! Look, it's just black! Who'd wear such a depressing color!?"

"_Poland—_!"

"I also agree with Poland! Nobody wears things like this except unfashionable people, and I— oh! That's right, we're in London right? That explains everything doesn't it? Ohonhonhonhonhon~"

"CAN YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?" Germany yelled, effectively stopping any potential countries from also interrupting. England cleared his throat.

"Yes, well… We don't have any wands, and regular wands would surely reject us. So, I've taken the liberty of making all of us custom wands with a dual core made of the most resilient wood out there."

"Umm… You didn't answer their questions…" Canada's input was left unheard.

England continued. "All of your wands have a thread of your respective flag embedded inside, along with a strand of hair from each of you. It's bonded together with the strongest of wood, the English Yew."

"Ve! That's kinda scary, how'd you get our hair England?" Italy cried, patting his own hair down.

"Well… I have my ways. I'm not the world's greatest spy for nothing, aren't I?" England cackled.

"Pfft! We'll always have a part of England in us won't we?" Prussia laughed, making a dirty joke everyone got but Italy and America. "He just couldn't have one; he had to take ALL of us!"

"Whatdaya mean? I'm right here?" America questioned, while Italy nodded in agreement.

"ANYWAYS, AS I WAS SAYING. Here are all you're wands, please try to not break them." England sighed. It was a wonder how all the nations could be so immature…

"Yes, Mr. England, but again, why do we need all this? Surely this wouldn't help you feel any better, would it?" Lithuania asked politely. England nodded in understanding.

"Well of course it won't! But one needs be properly supplied when going to school! Surely you know this?"

"WHAT!"

* * *

**And done! I can honestly say, many bad jokes were crossing my mind as I wrote this, and perhaps a few squeezed their way in. Hehe… Also, a great response for the first chapter! I'm so grateful to have readers like you guys!**

**On my page, Potential Stories has been updated, so go ahead and vote up to two! I have no cage for my plot bunnies, so ideas just go EVERYWHERE. Like word vomit! (lol wut?)  
**

**This has been Cecile, making the world into a strawberry smoothie. SLURP.**

**-See you next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

"So… how did your trial go?" Ron asked quietly, poking Harry who was looking outside the Hogwarts Train compartment's window.

Harry looked to Ron, silently thinking over an answer. He carefully answered back in a whisper. "It was fine. Dumbledore helped me out a lot, if he wasn't there..." Ron nodded, understanding.

"Yeah. Mom wouldn't let Dad tell me any specifics, saying it wasn't of my concern. I swear, it's like she thinks I'm a ki—!" Hermione interrupted, opening the door with a loud clack, making the two boys inside freeze.

"There you are! I've been—!"

Harry and Ron quickly jumped from their seats, putting a hand on the girl's mouth, looking towards the sleeping man in the corner of the compartment.

"Mphm-mmh!" Hermione yelled behind the hands.

"Blimey, this guy can sleep through just about anything, right mate?"

"Yeah. How'd he sleep through that?"

"MMMMPPPHHH!" Hermione turned red.

The boys quickly let go of her, Hermione gasping for air. The other two looked on guiltily.

"Well I say! Didn't you think that maybe I couldn't breathe?!"

Harry gave her a sheepish smile. "Sorry. Didn't even think about that…"

"Well you should. Anyways, who's that man over there, he looks a bit shady… I wonder if this is Professor Remus all over again." Hermione asked cautiously.

"Dunno. But this was the only compartment we could find that wasn't full. I guess you didn't find anything either, huh?" Ron sighed.

Hermione nodded, sitting next to Ron. The three caught up with one another, Harry explaining a little of what had happened at the Ministry of Magic. They talked freely, as it seemed the man in the corner wasn't a light sleeper. They were rudely interrupted by a loud bang of the door sliding open harshly. Two boys stood under the door frame, the blond with glasses and blue eyes grinning.

"Dude! Can we sit with you guys? Romano kicked me out for being, 'irritating bastards'. Me and Feliciano totally aren't though! I Promise!" The brunette beside him nodded in approval.

"Yeah! Luddy and I were playing punchies, and Romano wanted me away from the 'Potato bastard'! But he's not, he just really likes potatoes!" Feliciano raved, hands gesturing frantically.

"Uh, sure… I don't see why not…" Harry said, looking at the two bewilderedly. Hermione frowned.

"You two are… Fifth-years? I've never seen you two before…" She questioned, giving the two an accusatory stare.

"Oh! I'm part of a transfer program! Me and some European and Asian countries are going to Hogwarts to broaden our horizons! It'll be really co—!" Feliciano was interrupted by a hand to the face.

"W-What he means are students from those countries are gonna be attending here! I'm Alfred F. Jones by the way! All the way from America! Gotta love those stars and stripes!" Alfred crowed.

Ron tilted his head. "America? Didn't Feliciano just say Europe and Asia? Why are you here then?"

Alfred rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, I'm here cause my Dad is becoming a teacher here. I used to study in Salem, but because of the job offer, me and my bro are gonna attend here instead."

"A new teacher? What does your Dad teach?" Hermione asked, perking up as talk of education popped up.

The two nations had by this time sat opposite to the Golden Trio. Alfred suddenly looked entirely serious, brows furrowing together. The tree gulped unconsciously, bracing themselves.

"I… Have no idea!" Alfred gave them a peace sign.

Hermione palm gave an enthusiastic hello to her forehead.

* * *

"Lovi, was it really necessary to throw Feli and Alfred out of the compartment?" Spain asked gently. Romano huffed.

"If it could get the German and him apart, then I'd throw him out in a heartbeat… Well you know, in perfectly safe circumstances." Romano looked over to the corner, where Germany was tied up with tape, Prussia laughing hysterically at his brother.

Sweden sat next to Gilbert, conversing quietly with Finland. France sat on Romano's other side, occasionally groping the nation, receiving a glare from Spain after every attempt. Russia gave a smile, tilting his head.

"It is bad enough England has made us all into children, and while I would usually be very happy you have kicked out America, he is a good stress relief." Russia's smile stretched. Romano flinched, going under Spain's arm and laughing awkwardly.

"Ivan, we can't use those names here, even if we are alone. Arthur said that anyone could be listening, even the paintings! So please be more careful." Finland voiced, shifting Hanatamago on his lap. Russia gained a dark aura.

"Oh? I'm sure a couple of slip ups will do no harm, right?" Russia reached underneath his robes, taking out his metal pipe.

"D'nt hurt m'wife." Sweden said, shielding Finland with an arm. Russia was unimpressed.

"Finland has a point, Ivan. As much as I hate to say it, Arthur is usually right with things relating to magic, so please control yourself. It won't do any good for any of us." France mumbled, a bit put out as he rubbed his red hand caused by Spain's more recent attacks.

The nations were stopped from further conversation as a scream pierced the calmness throughout the train. Loud bangings were heard next to their compartment, and muffled yells came through the wall.

"HOLY SHIT." Switzerland's voice came through the wall of the compartment. The nation quickly came out of their compartment to see what was the matter, leaving a tied up Germany behind.

Prussia opened the compartment with a bang. "THE AWESOME ME IS HERE TO SAVE DA DAY!"

He was ignored.

Japan was crying over a fire that engulfed a pile of electronics, while one of Greece's five cats ran frantically around the compartment with its tail on fire. Poland stood atop the seats yelling at another cat that had…relieved itself on his designer shoes, while Lichtenstein and Lithuania tried putting out Switzerland's beret that caught fire, out with spray bottles. Greece lay above in the luggage rack, asleep.

"T-the hell happened here?!" Romano yelled, stepping back. Lithuania looked over to the group of nations, looking sheepish.

"W-well, Kiku was playing a game on one of his portables, while Hercules's cat slept on him, and Felix was accessorizing one of the other cats. Kiku's game suddenly caught on fire, and the can jumped on of him, so the tail is on fire… I guess the cat with Felix go spooked, since…you know… Vash tried to get Kiku to through the game down, but then Kiku's other electronics caught on fire… I think you know what happened, after that…"

The nations standing abruptly crashed to the ground as the train came to a stop. A voice sounded throughout the train.

"WE HAVE ARIVED AT HOGWARTS. PLEASE EXIT THE TRAIN AND LEAVE ALL BELONGINGS YOU."

Japan sniffed.

Russia smiled.

France groped.

Romano flinched.

Spain smacked.

France whimpered.

And somewhere in the train, an American laughed.

* * *

**Herp derp, this story is just so random to me. xD**

**There's plot here, I promise! Though, it all may seem so stupid and whatever, it will all come together! **

**Promise! **

**~Cecile**


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